Grief is a journey, not a destination.

There is no "right way" to grieve. Grief is not linear. It is not one size fits all. The stages of grief can happen all at once or one at a time.

Grief, though a natural response to loss, is a difficult one to come to grips with. When grief comes knocking on your door, you eventually have to answer. One thing to understand is that grief is not universal. Grief is a very personal experience and can affect you emotionally, physically, and/or mentally. You do not experience grief one stage at a time or only for a certain time frame; there is no one way to experience grief.

Here are the 5 Stages of Grief according to Kubler- Ross

#1 - Denial

I can't believe this happened to me! This can't be happening to me!

Those are some thoughts that may run through your head when you have experienced the loss of a loved one. Sometimes a defense mechanism denial is used as an attempt to protect yourself from the truth. During the denial stage, you can have feelings of disbelief, shock, questioning, feelings of numbness. You may have a difficult time accepting the death, especially if it was unexpected.

#2 - Anger

How did the hell did this happen? They did this. I let this happen. This is unfair. In the anger stage, you can become angry with yourself, angry with people, angry with God, and you may even be angry with the person who passed away. Feelings such as frustration, guilt, resentment, blame, bitterness, impatience, and irritability can be experienced during this stage.

"Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go." – Jamie Anderson

#3 - Bargaining

If only I said something. What if we didn't choose this place? It is sometimes difficult to accept the reality of the loss. The bargaining stage can be a daunting one, wishing and hoping you had control over the situation. It is usually full of the "what if" or "if only" statements. Replaying in your head the possibilities of a different outcome.

#4 - Depression

I just feel empty. I don't want to do anything, just leave me alone. Depression can present in many different ways. You may experience deep sadness, longing, heartache, withdrawal from everyone, loss of interest in things, feeling overwhelmed, and sometimes even helplessness.

#5 - Acceptance

Gradually you find a way to accept the reality of the death of your loved one. You find some way to move forward in your life but that doesn't mean you have forgotten about your loved one, you keep the memories alive and you find some sense of acceptance or peace.

Types of Grief

• Anticipatory Grief – Grieving before a loss occurs, often seen in terminal illness.

• Complicated Grief – Grief that is prolonged and interferes with daily life.

• Disenfranchised Grief – When a loss is not openly acknowledged or socially supported (e.g., miscarriage, loss of a pet, estranged relationships).

• Collective Grief – When a community or society mourns a large-scale loss, such as a disaster or public tragedy.

"Grief is the price we pay for love."– Dr. Colin Murray Parkes. 

Coping with Grief

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions – Suppressing grief can make it harder to heal. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or lost.

2. Seek Support – Talk to family, friends, a support group, or a therapist. Grief is easier to bear when shared.

3. Take Care of Yourself – Grief can be physically exhausting. Eating well, exercising, journaling, finding a hobby, and getting enough sleep are important.

4. Create Rituals and Memorials – Honoring the memory of what was lost can help with healing (e.g., journaling, lighting a candle, or volunteering in honor of a loved one).

5. Allow Time and Patience – Healing doesn’t happen overnight, and everyone’s timeline is different. Give yourself grace and be patient with yourself.

6. Find Meaning and Growth – Some people channel grief into purpose, like advocacy, art, or helping others. We hope that out of our pain, we help other mothers and babies.

You are not alone.

Grief is not something to “get over”—it’s something we learn to live with and grow through. While loss changes us, healing is possible, and no one has to go through it alone.